I started to write this entry while I was in bed. I was using my phone, and it's just too difficult. I would have not written as much as I will now that I am on a desktop, and I just feel that after,what, a week(?) that you good people deserve better. This post is going to be more serious, so for those of you who want to continue to view me in a light manner, it might be best to just skip this post, and I'll throw you a more hilariously-entertaining post next time.
So here we go.
Lately things have been rather.. interesting. In a time where not so much is really going the way I would want, I'm still finding happiness. Whether it's goofing off with some friends, a smile from a stranger, a hug from a close friend, or simply catching nothing but green lights on 600 s., life keeps giving me little things to enjoy.
Sure, there's lots of crap going on in my life that would persuade me to not want to be happy. But I'm realizing more and more that these things are temporal, and really don't matter.
I feel like I'm finally ready to enjoy some of the not little things, though. For quite a long time, I've been not-all-intentionally-but-still-kinda-intentionally sabotaging myself from moving on with my life. If it weren't for some of my great friends and family's persistance, I would have long ago probably given up. I know the general idea (general idea *salute*) of what I want to do with my life; I've always known. But now, it's different. I'm at one of the critical turning points in my life, where by doing/changing small things, I'll be setting the course for the rest of my life. It's intimidating, to be perfectly honest. For quite a long time, I've let my fears, my worries, my doubts keep me from progressing, from realizing who I should be. But ya know what? It's time. To tell you the truth, a truth I've only told two people prior to this, I really don't like who I am all too much. I haven't in years. Every one of my friends have been miracles in my life. Every one of my family members have been miracles in my life. Now, I don't use the word 'miracle' often, and it's definitely not a word I take/use lightly. So realize that me saying this, is a huge deal for me. Without every single one of you, I shudder to think where I would be right now.
It's time to move on.
A scary thought, no doubt. But I think I'm ready for it. I'm ready to get out on my mission, to work my BUTT OFF, to come back, marry the girl I want to spend eternity with, and fufill any other thing that the Lord requires of me. I know I'm definitely not prepared for what's to come. I can't pretend to know what Life is going to be like. But I'm ready to find out.
By the way, Happy Halloween, everybody :). It's my favorite holiday, and I plan to make it a good one. Pictures tomorrow? Yes.
Earl out.
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