Throwback...

Well world, I am bored, and to keep my thoughts away from the Internet, I have now opened up a Word document and entitled it www.cjthoughts.gov.www\cjthoughts. SO here goes.

Hi. I have rediscovered Incubus, the band, and I really enjoy them. I've started to listen to their new stuff now too, even though I was against it before. My phone has a crack in the screen. Don't tell my dad. He'd kill me. I need a car. I should probably be doing school work right now, instead I'm doing this and listening to Knights of Cydonia and watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Good movie, and good song. Tomorrow school is back again, maybe I should like...go hide somewhere. Or bring banana peels and see if someone will actually trip on one. I've always wanted to do that. I think it would work. I don't think I'm allergic to them anymore, I ate a slice of one today in my Sundae and Sundae Sundays with my Priest Quorum. Nothing bad happened, it was just simply delicious! I love watching drumming videos, they're freakin sweet. They inspire me to practice and get better, but then they also make me feel like, man, I suck at this. I quit. But that usually happens more when it's in person, but anyway. My dog is named Buddy. He's a beagle, he's a funny little weirdo. I think he gets it from me. He's attacking my mom right now, in a nice way. But he attacks people he doesn't know. I just spent my iTunes gift card, it was good. I hate how my Mp3 player can play videos but I can't put any on there. That really bugs me. Now Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback is playing, another really good song, but kinda overplayed. Oh well, I won't skip it. I wanna jam with people, like really really good musicians, and just like, go lay down some serious tracks of music and then make a music video. I think that's what I wanna do with my life hahahaha. I think it's funny how I'm writing all this, no one's going to read all'a this hah! Life is good =). Anyway, I wish I had contacts, but I wish I didn't have to put them in, so I guess I just wish I wasn't blind, and that I didn't look twelve. Grr. My sister just looked over at what I was typing and said, Holy crap. I agree. This is pretty ridiculous. I wanna go see a movie. Maybe Yes Man. Too bad it's like nine o' clock and a sunday. Gr. I wish I wasn't in High school and I could just like, be in High school, if that makes sense. Oh well. I hate grades. Physics is fun, but I don't get it, I think I'm just stupid. If I were to write an autobiography, I would entitle it The Epic Adventures of Earl IV. I think it's a groovy name. I'm trying to bring back that word, and righteous, and Psychadelic. I really like the show Psych, it's hilarious! He should soooo totally hook up with the cop chick, they were even close talking!!! My dog is scratching it's ear with its foot. I wish I could do that. Show off. I watched Fight Club yesterday, yes, I know it's rated R, so judge me. Haha! I feel like drumming. Darn. WHo decided that swear words were swear words? Or that the middle finger is a bad one lol? I don't get it =P. Not that I wanna swear or anything, I just would like to know who thinks they're all that and could decided that those words suck haha. I understand now why Ryan did that to Creed, gave him a word document instead of a blog, these thoughts are really random, and I don't know if you people are ready for it.

-January 11, 2009

Purple Penguin

I kind of dislike titling these posts.

So the reason I'm blogging so much more frequently nowadays is because I use it as a distraction/venting-thing. I need distractions pretty often it seems :p.

So right now I'm at my parent's house again, and it's so much easier to type/format. I like that.

My shoes looked pretty freaking good yesterday in the snow, it's like they got washed fourty times.

Shout-out to Jaimes for turning 21 today!

Thank goodness for Taking Back Sunday; specifically for writing New American Classic. I cannot ever get enough of that song.

Shout-out to Madd Dawg for getting her mission call to Japan! So excited for you!

I'm unbelievably anxious.

I'm kind of sad.

Why?

'Cuz I'm moving back down to West Jordan in about 10 days... I love being with my family but I've really grown to love most-everything about living on my own in Orem, but it's become impractical considering that my truck just kinda died and I'm now sharing cars with my mom, and I deliver pizzas for a living. Not to mention(which is a silly phrase, because now I'm going to mention said thing) that I'm oh-so-close to getting out on my mission and I could really use some more time to myself to prepare.

But I don't really like having a ton of time to myself :/. I'm pretty lame in that I'm needy for my friends, family, company. Or maybe you don't think that's lame, I dunno. I'm fine being by myself, I just would rather not be most of the time.

Ever since I found out that there is a problem with my nose and all of the crap that comes with it, it's become SO much more noticeable. I'm kinda dying to get this surgery done so that I can move on.

5 days.

5.

Days.

Is there anything else you guys want me to talk about? I know you people exist, because my pageviews keep going up. So speak up! Anonymously, named, I don't care!

I don't know what to write about.

...

.....

Okay, how about this:

I hate feeling helpless. I was driving for work yesterday morning in Orem during a freaking snowstorm and mi madre's tires are bald, and I was sliding ALL OVER THE PLACE. I honestly, within the first 2 minutes of driving, resigned myself to the fact that I was going to get into an accident at work. I'm not joking, I almost called my mother and told her that.

Miracles happen, Ladies and Gentleman.

I didn't get into an accident. I would like to blame it on my impressive snow-driving capabilities, but there's no way. Divine Inter-freaking-vention (which is another great TBS song).

It's going to be really hard moving back up here to West Jordan. I'm going to miss being so close to my surrogate family.

Family members:

Stephen

Joe

Funky

Tayler

Ash

Madd Dawg

Alex

Brandon

Love you guys.

Time is moving on, things are rapidly changing.

I (hopefully-)soon will be serving the people of whichever land I'll be assigned to labor in on my mission for two years.

Two of my best friends are getting married at the beginning of March, congratulations to you guys and gals.

Stephen, Brandon, Tayler, and Joe are continuing their education and starting their own new chapters.

Have fun in FREAKING LONDON AND ROME. Maybe I'll see you there?

I can look forward to all of these things and more, many of which I couldn't begin to fathom, with hope. I know that anything that God causes to happen is for their betterment. Trials, miracles, changes, they all happen to help us. Sometimes it's hard to feel that way when something terrible happens, but it's to make way for something greater and He's always here to help us through it. If we bear the burdens well, we'll be rewarded more than we thought possible. I know these things. It's taken me a long time to develop this perspective and to be able to differentiate between when God has a hand in my life and when I or other people act, for there is often a great difference between what man does and what God does.

I know now that I've made many mistakes recently, some larger than others. -I've been trying to find a way to express this next sentence, but suffice to say: It sucks. I take both comfort and pain in the fact that there's nothing I can do about it now though, and that I need to just try and continue on the path I'm on, and if things are supposed to happen/change, then they will. Not when I want it to, but when He wants it to.

....

Woah. That escalated quickly. Haha, I apologize for turning what was going to be a random collection of thoughts post into one that actually has some of my innermost thoughts. Funny how that happens, eh?

Why am I apologizing? It's my freaking blog!

Haha

It's who I am, and as stated earlier, I'm super imperfect, so deal with it. :P

Earl out?

I might post some old Facebook notes that contained random collections of thoughts as a fun little throw-back post. Stay tuned!

Deep First Sentence...

I am the most imperfect person that I know, but I am trying to become better. 

This post could go one of two very different directions. I could now expound on that sentence and make this a deep(3 ft.-ish) post, or I could just totally go off the reservation and tell you some crazy story. 

...

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

That doesn't even look like a word now. 

HOkay. 

Let me start by saying I didn't make a New Years Resolution this year. 

I'm such a cad. 

I suppose I didn't because I had already fixed so much that I didn't really like about myself, and so I became temporarily complacent. 

How immature and lame of me. Seriously. 

After all this time I've spent not progressing I was really about to let myself be content with mediocrity?

Shame, Earl. Shame. 

Back to the first sentence: I am the most imperfect person that I know. 

In thinking about that statement, I think it's fair to say that to each individual they, themselves are the most flawed person that they know of. It reminds me of that cliche thing that goes something like: You can't compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else's highlight reel. 

I'm getting off-track. 

The purpose of this statement to me is that I spend more time and energy than I should judging others. Who am I to think that someone is ugly, stupid, pompous, ignorant, naive, etc., when I know how utterly damaged I am?

I like to think that I don't judge people too often, but it's definitely something I need to work on. 

Food for thought, I suppose. 

-Smooth change of subject-

Life is interesting, friends. 

I'm sure that within a seemingly-long-but-actually-short amount of time, that all of the events that have transpired recently in my life will all make sense. 

They don't always seem logical, but the only logic that I can truly trust in is what I feel to be right. 

Most of the things that I have done may not have made logical sense, but they felt right. 

The hardest part right now is trying to sort out all of my feelings, thoughts, and desires. I often fear that I may have acted rashly, emotionally, and without doing what actually felt right. 

It's an almost unbearably terrifying thought. I also believe that I've received two answers to two questions I've been praying about, and they're both comforting and deeply... Well, sad. 

But there's absolutely nothing I can do right now about it except for focus on my goal. 

Think things through, ladies and gentleman. But don't make the mistake of not listening to what feels right. I think that's the area that should be granted the most energy and true evaluation. 

Life is good. Hard, but good. I'm always here for any of my friends who may need me. 

For whoever still reads this, you're great. Here comes some odd-Internet PDA. 

I love you. (No homo)(that "no homo" didn't apply if you're a woman)

:)

Earl/CJ out

Today Feels Different

So, not entirely sure why, but today feels so different. I went to bed last night at a decent hour, and I'm now awake, and functioning at 7:00 AM. 

...

..

.

I know, right?

And I feel so calm. 

And I have a giant canker sore. 

But I'm so calm about it. There's sooooo much going on nowadays, especially these next couple weeks. Life is going to get crazy. 

Yet, here I am: sittin' in my apartment at what was once an ungodly hour, and I feel so flippin' peaceful! 

Total zen, baby. Oh, yeah. 

So I'm getting that nose surgery that we talked about last time! I'm actually super excited about it. The doctor was telling me all these things that would change about my daily life, for the better, and I was just kind of floored. All these issues he was bringing up I thought were just part of life; I'd never known differently. But nope, I broke my nose when I was super young  (apparently), and now I get to have all of it fixed :). 

And the grand prize: I get to FINALLY turn in my mission papers :). As stated before, I've been done with my side of the papers for almost a month now, and I've been waiting on all of this medical stuff so I can't even tell you how anxiously excited I am for this :). 

It's been a long time coming. 

I just want to thank everyone who's always believed in me, even when I had given up on myself. You know who you are. 

Earl out

Work parking lot

I felt the urge to post something for some reason. Haha I have no clue why, I'm just sittin in my work parking lot before my shift and I got the feeling that I should say something on this dealio. 

So... Hi :D! 

Life is great y'all. There have been some bumps recently but I know that all of this is happening for a higher purpose and by a higher design than I am able to fully understand at this time. 

I might be getting surgery....! Haha on my nose of all things. That's such a wimpy soundin surgery. More manly, though, I think, than like... Toe surgery or something. Cuticle surgery. 

Feel free to comment below with other wimpy surgeries! I'll keep you all who check back here posted more often as I get closer to my goal :). 

Have a great week, everyone :)!

Earl out. 

WTFIL?

What the flip is Lemongrab??? Hahaha google search, "adventures of earl"...

Timing = Important

I've always heard people talk about how they have terrible timing, but I don't think I had ever really experienced it for myself until very recently. I don't think you have a very good sense/care-for timing when you're younger because the schedule you follow is largely dictated by your parents, and as far as timing in other aspects, there aren't really many opportunities growing up for children/teens to be irresponsible with timing. 

Timing isn't everything, but man, it sure is important. 

The cliche that comes to mind is, "There is a time and a season for all things.."

(Is that a cliche or a scripture...? Ah, well.)

That scriché is totally correct.
Patience, Earl.
Patience.

Earl out

Time to Expound

So there I was, in a rut. It sucked. 

That was a poem I just wrote for all (2?) of you.

I'm really only blogging right now because I'm at my parents house with a few minutes to spare and I only really do this whole thing when I have access to an actual computer. So... yeah.

Well, I guess I'll tell you about life in recent times!
I think I'll start this story at the end, and then go to the beginning, periodically returning to the end, perhaps with other character's perspectives throughout. Otherwise it's just sort of a linear--

"JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!"

Okay, okay.

So there I was, for months I had been in a rut that was quite similar to the first twenty-four months of post-graduation life. My life was stagnant(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk). I wasn't going anywhere. And then I moved, and things changed. If you wanna know more about that time, then go back a few posts.

And then once again... Stagnancy. I don't think that's a word, but I don't mind it too much. For months, it was just the same old thing everyday, and I wasn't really happy. There were great things that happened in those months, don't get me wrong, it's not like I was in the gall of misery or anything, but the overall theme was that I wasn't where I wanted to be. I wasn't who I wanted to be.

So after a lot of personal reflection, some personal experiences, and a kick-in-the-pants by my best friend, I decided enough was enough. It's never easy to give up things that are comfortable to you, things that you might feel like you need. It is worth it though to take stock of all the things in your life, and really dwell on what makes you happy and what doesn't. That way, you can repurpose yourself: your energies, your emotions, all'a that onto the things that give you peace.

So that's what I did. And it was easier than I thought it would be. Staying focused and putting forth the energy necessary to keep myself where I need to be, and doing what I need to be doing, I've changed a lot of things about my life that I didn't like, and ya know what? I've never been happier :).

I started my mission papers... :D and I'm all set to be ordained an Elder in my church tomorrow. My attitude towards most everything in my life has been altered. Many of my opinions have changed, and I've grown to love and appreciate my friends and family infinitely more- or at least it feels that way. I hope I externalize that enough and make those whom I care about feel thus. (Biblical on yo' vocabulary! Word!)

I wanted to have my papers done by now, but I've been at work everyday during the hours when I need to get my dental and physical examinations done :(. But such is life, things don't work out the way you plan them to sometimes. I will have them done by the end of this next week, though. I hope to be serving the Lord full-time very soon.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, it's actual-really-truly happening :).

Maybe I'll write more in the coming weeks, but maybe I won't :P.

Hope all of you are doing well :) Have a great 2013!!!

Earl out

Ladies and gentleman, it is going to be a great year :). The best I've ever had, I'm sure. I couldn't be more excited/anxious for what's to come and I thank everyone who's had a part in it :). Also, holy-freaking fantastic New Years Eve night :D.
2013, let's do this.
Many, many good things happening.. :)
Earl out